Man is a game playing animal and a computer is another way to play games.

Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment. I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data. Then eat the wrong kind of foods and hope you die before the earth does.

You might think the word "homemade" is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don't realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that's why.

Great minds don't think alike. If they did, the Patent Office would only have about fifty inventions.

If you haven't already told your kids 'don't fellate the president' then you're probably a bad parent.

Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.

Your shower is ready - I turned it on last night.