You probably think Stephen Hawking is in that wheelchair because of a motor neuron disease. But if you got as much barely-legal student poontang as The Hawkster, you'd be in a wheelchair too.

People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred.

We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.

The day you realize that your efforts and rewards are not related, it really frees up your calendar.

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.