The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day. This is why people of different religions can generally live in peace. At some level, we all suspect that other people don't believe their own religion any more than we believe ours.

To err is human. To cover it up is weasel.

People are idiots. Including me. Everyone is an idiot, not just the people with the low SAT scores. The only difference is that we're idiots about different things at different times. No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot.

Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.

Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.

For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.