The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day. This is why people of different religions can generally live in peace. At some level, we all suspect that other people don't believe their own religion any more than we believe ours.

We know the goats are imported because they don't speak English.

I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message.

He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.

I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information.

I try to avoid giving advice.

The best things in life are silly.