As you know, the best way to solve a problem is to identify the core belief that causes the problem; then mock that belief until the people who hold it insist that you heard them wrong.

My investments have been hurt.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

The world isn't fair, but as long as it's tilting in my direction, I find that there's a natural cap to my righteous indignation.

Beware of those who try to sell you simple answers to complex questions.

A matador is a guy who didn't have enough people skills to be promoted to serial killer.

Dogbert: So, Since Columbus is dead, you have no evidence that the earth is round. Dilbert: Look. You can Ask Senator John Glenn. He orbited the earth when he was an astronaut. Dogbert: So, your theory depends on the honesty of politicians. Dilbert: Yes... no, wait.