Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.

Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.

When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed.

Some people fear that technology will become more engaging than live human interactions. That's silly; technology is already way more interesting than other people.

Your shower is ready - I turned it on last night.

Continuing to believe the same thing, even in the face of new evidence to the contrary, is the definition of insanity - except in politics where it's called leadership.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.