E-books are impervious to analogy.

Methods for predicting the future: 1) read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls . . . collectively known as "nutty methods;" 2) put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer . . . commonly referred to as "a complete waste of time."

Great minds don't think alike. If they did, the Patent Office would only have about fifty inventions.

If free will exists, why do the tallest candidates with the best hair usually win elections ?

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.

As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats are dancing a conga line.