Sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.

A matador is a guy who didn't have enough people skills to be promoted to serial killer.

I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time.

We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.

In the future, it will become increasingly obvious that your competitors are just as clueless as you are.

It is better for your career to do nothing, than to do something and attract criticism.

Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a "Big Bang" at all-it was more of "Phhbwt" sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the "Little Phhbwt" theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away.