There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

I should have written that down. - Dilbert

Dinosaur: I plan to use punctuated equilibrium to turn this zit into a third eye. Catbert: That's not a natural advantage. You'd better stay away from the fitter dinosaurs.

Technology: No Place for Wimps!

I was surprised to learn that doing household chores qualifies as romantic for most of you [women]. That's exactly why you should never hire a butler if you strike it rich - the minute that Jeeves starts unloading the dishwasher without being asked, your wife is going to start humping his leg.

Intelligence is a measure of how well you function within your level of awareness.

Failure is where success likes to hide in plain sight.