The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.

Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier.

Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.

On the fourth day of telecommuting, I realized that clothes are totally unnecessary.

Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.

I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm terribly uncomfortable.

A rental car is basically an ashtray on wheels.