Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words.

The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.

If you don't believe your salmon is wild, ask it to fetch your newspaper and see what happens.

The marketing department uses many advanced techniques to match products and buyers in a way that mximizes profits. For example, they give away keychains.

Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn't mean I can't be the first.

In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: 'If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And then you die'.

Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there