And bring me a hard copy of the Internet so I can do some serious surfing.

Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.

You might think the word "homemade" is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don't realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that's why.

Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent.

I used to be stupid but I've turned that situation around 360 degrees.

There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.

There’s nothing more humbling than seeing your best quotes in a list, and thinking they could have been written by a coma patient with a keyboard and spasms.