I was surprised to learn that doing household chores qualifies as romantic for most of you [women]. That's exactly why you should never hire a butler if you strike it rich - the minute that Jeeves starts unloading the dishwasher without being asked, your wife is going to start humping his leg.

I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.

He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.

Good ideas have no value because the world already has too many of them. The market rewards execution, not ideas.

Most success springs from an obstacle or failure.

Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.

If you want to kill an idea without being identified as the assassin, suggest that the legal department take a look at it.