Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.

Dilbert: You joined the "Flat Earth Society?" Dogbert: I believe the earth must be flat. There is no good evidence to support the so-called "round earth theory." Dilbert: I think Christopher Columbus would disagree. Dogbert: How convenient that your best witness is dead.

I keep hearing the argument that some things are constitutional while other things are not. The idea is that we should be in favor of all the things that were decided over 200 years ago by a bunch of slave-owning cross-dressers who pooped in holes.

I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.

The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out.

By definition, risk-takers often fail. So do morons. In practice it's difficult to sort them out.

The best you can hope for in this life is that your delusions are benign and your compulsions have utility.