The human mind is a delusion generator, not a window to trurh.

Dinosaur: I plan to use punctuated equilibrium to turn this zit into a third eye. Catbert: That's not a natural advantage. You'd better stay away from the fitter dinosaurs.

Beware of those who try to sell you simple answers to complex questions.

Lately, the only thing keeping me from being a serial killer is my distaste for manual labor.

The job isn't done until you've blamed someone for the parts that went wrong.

There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat; if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours.

One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.