Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.

For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That's exactly like a nut except with a better attitude.

Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.

We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.

I'm primarily just an investor.

He was tenser than Jesse Jackson on Father's Day.

A matador is a guy who didn't have enough people skills to be promoted to serial killer.