There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.

Never base your budget requests on realistic assumptions, as this could lead to a decrease in your funding.

Few things in life are less efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage of this method is that you end up with something for which you will not be personally blamed.

We know the goats are imported because they don't speak English.

He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.