We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far.

He was deader than a shrunken head at a Hackey Sack festival.

It's hard to argue with the government. Remember, they are they run the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, so they must know a thing or two about satisfying women.

I discovered what I call the Bill Gates effect. That is, the more successful you are, the uglier you get.

For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson.

The best things in life are silly.

If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.