Moslem: people who believe suicide is a good way to get laid.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.

I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.

I burned out my drawing hand by using it too much. The common word for it is writer's cramp. The fancy words for it are focal dystonia. The symptom in my case was a pinky finger that went spastic when I tried to draw.

We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.

Home is pretty utopian.