Moslem: people who believe suicide is a good way to get laid.

For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That's exactly like a nut except with a better attitude.

If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you.

One of the great things about being ignorant is that I often think my ideas are original. It's a wonderful feeling. That's why I try to avoid any knowledge that would spoil the sensation. Sometimes it isn't easy. People keep hurling knowledge at me, and I can't always duck.

I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing.

If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.

Beware the advice of successful people; they do not seek company.