Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.

Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto

He changed more times than a baby in a beer-drinking contest.

I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society.

There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.

Why aren't you signed up for the 401K? I'd never be able to run that far.

When did ignorance become a point of view?