For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That's exactly like a nut except with a better attitude.

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.

I try to avoid giving advice.

My philosophy is that every phone conversation has a loser.

I discovered what I call the Bill Gates effect. That is, the more successful you are, the uglier you get.

You might argue that my example is bad because Einstein is dead. But according to physicist Erwin Schrodinger, Einstein is neither dead nor alive until we dig him up and open the casket. If he's alive, he might want his brain back, which I understand is in a Ziplock bag in some guy's freezer. And this is a perfect example of why examples always distract from the main point.

On the fourth day of telecommuting, I realized that clothes are totally unnecessary.