Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants.

If you're following the news, you know that the major religions differ in their interpretation of the holy books. For example, one way to interpret God's will is that you should love your neighbor. An alternate reading of the holy books might lead you to rig a donkey cart with small mortar rockets and aim it at a hotel full of infidels. In summary, po-tay-to, poh-tah-to. Religions are very flexible.

If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.

Boss: I just heard that light travels faster than sound. I'm wondering if I should shout when I speak, just so my lips appear to sync-up with my words.

I try to avoid giving advice.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.