I would sometimes sit in a crowded restaurant, and say, 'You know, I'm the only person in this restaurant who can't draw.'

I'm primarily just an investor.

Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.

Ratbert (as lab rat, to scientist): Doc, we have to talk. Every day you feed me over a hundred pounds of macaroni and cheese. At first I thought you were just being a good host. But lately I've been thinking it could be something far more sinister.

Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.

Every generation of humans believed it had all the answers it needed, except for a few mysteries they assumed would be solved at any moment. And they all believed their ancestors were simplistic and deluded. What are the odds that you are the first generation of humans who will understand reality ?

No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.