There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.

There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.

As you know, the best way to solve a problem is to identify the core belief that causes the problem; then mock that belief until the people who hold it insist that you heard them wrong.

Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn't mean I can't be the first.

The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but there isn't much doubt that I'll always be the 'Dilbert guy.' Unless I go on a crime spree, in which case I'll be that stabbin Dilbert guy.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.

Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.