The source of all unhappiness is other people. As soon as you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy. - Wally's Keynote Speech

I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message.

If you don't believe your salmon is wild, ask it to fetch your newspaper and see what happens.

My investments have been hurt.

Blogging is like work, but without coworkers thwarting you at every turn.

Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly.

Why aren't you signed up for the 401K? I'd never be able to run that far.