Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.

When I did comedy I made fun of myself. If there was a buffoon, I played the buffoon.

The best thing about humour is that it shows people they are not alone.

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.

After all those years of doing a live, hour-and-a-half show every week, I've got nothing more I need to prove.

The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds the other fellow of a dull one.

Jazz is a beautiful woman whose older brother is a policeman.