Al Gore has a hit movie called 'An Inconvenient Truth.' I have an inconvenient truth for him: you're still not the president. ... This past weekend, Al Gore's movie, 'An Inconvenient Truth,' earned more per screen than any film in the country. ... I dare say Gore's movie is the highest grossing PowerPoint presentation in history. ... Global warming: Can we live with it? ... It is time we did something, namely resign ourselves to doing nothing [on screen: Follow Congress' Lead]. ... For instance, when sea levels rise, we'll just build levees [on screen: Worked for New Orleans]

brb, ttyl ok? wow, i saved a 'ton' of time with those acronyms.

If we don't cut expensive things like Head Start, child nutrition programs, and teachers, what sort of future are we leaving for our children?

I am down with the latest trends. And everyone knows, the thing on the streets is vampires. So I have been biting people on the neck.

Divorce is marital welfare.It’s just couples asking society to bail them out because they didn’t do enough research before they got married.

My mom kind of led me toward acting. She wanted to be an actress when she was younger. That made me interested in it when I was a kid, because she and I are very close.

Who would have thought that a means of communication limited to 140 characters would ever create misunderstanding?