Give a man a suicide bomb, he blows up once. Teach a man to suicide bomb, he also blows up once.

A mother needs to be in the home even when the kids aren’t. A messy house sends a coded message to children: “I’m not loveable. Otherwise Mother would dust.

I hold a little fundraiser every day. Its called going to work.

John Boehner will be the new speaker unless, out of habit, he blocks his own confirmation.

I'd forgotten what an honest sandwich it is. For those of you not familiar, 'BLT' stands for 'bacon, lettuce, and tomato.' A lot of people think the 'B' stands for 'bread,' and I can understand someone not wanting a lettuce and tomato sandwich. But, the bread is implied in the word 'sandwich.' Anyway, it's an American original. Everyone should have a BLT as soon as they can.

I suppose fear is like a drug. A little bit isn't that bad, but you can get addicted to the consumption and distribution of it.

A native American group has filed a class-action lawsuit against the government for mismanagement of oil, gas, grazing, timber and other royalties since 1887. They're seeking $100 billion. Here's the good news: The government has responded what I believe is an appropriate counteroffer: A two-cent Navajo stamp.