A mother needs to be in the home even when the kids aren’t. A messy house sends a coded message to children: “I’m not loveable. Otherwise Mother would dust.

Take the platypus - that is not a finished product. It is clearly still in beta.

Give a man a suicide bomb, he blows up once. Teach a man to suicide bomb, he also blows up once.

Yes, President Romney will not take God off our coins. And that is so important because right now, just like God, the value of our currency really has to be taken on faith.

If Germans are happy it means everyone else is miserable.

There's a wonderfully cooperative relationship between management and labor right now. Much like the historic partnership between oranges and a juicer.

The only thing that gets me high is the musky scent of my enemy's fear