If women are breadwinners and men bring home the bacon, why do people complain about having no dough? I'm confused. Also hungry.

Warmth is to sun, as truth is to me.

The entire future of marriage rests with Justice Anthony Kennedy, the man who declared in Citizens United that corporations are people with constitutional rights. I just hope he doesn't do anything rash, like declare that homosexuals are people with constitutional rights.

You have to do your First Penance before your First Holy Communion. You're really young. What do you know? You've got nothing to confess. All I knew was that I was an evil human whose sins caused the death of our Lord.

Can accidentally eating halal food make you Muslim? Yes, the same way drinking a cosmo can make you gay.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Truth. No joke.

In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.