I've been accused of being unambitious, but what I do takes up every minute. I'm executive producer, I'm a writer and the host.

To sit here at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush...I feel like I'm dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You now what, I'm a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough...Somebody shoot me in the face.

You have a firm grasp of the obvious.

I'm a junkie for exhaustion, and I'm a junkie for setting up my expectations too high and then trying to meet them.

If you are a hermaphrodite, it is physically impossible to be gay.

I love the truth. It's the facts I'm not a fan of.

My brother Billy was the joke teller. My brother Jim had a really sharp, cutting wit. And the teller of long stories, that was my brother Ed. As a child, I just absorbed everything they said, and I was always in competition for the laughs.