Don't cry over spilled milk-- get angry and punch a cow.

If a poor family falls on hard times in the woods, and no one is around to care, did it really happen?

Let freedom ka-ching...Corporations do everything people do except breathe, die and go to jail for dumping 1.3 million pounds of PCBs in the Hudson River.

I didn't realize quite how liberal I was until I was asked to make passionate comedic choices as opposed to necessarily successful comedic choices.

Like O'Rielly, we'll grab the most important word of each sentence... 'The' for example. Also, I'll say, 'I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, 'Colbert angry.

I would say laughter is the best medicine. But it's more than that. It's an entire regime of antibiotics and steroids.

Texas governor Rick Perry has been in the race only three days, and he's already blowing away the competition like it is a trespassing coyote.