it's back to school time. or as home-schoolers call it, stay-where-you-are time.

Think books aren't scary? Well, think about this: You can't spell "Book" without "Boo!

Protect yourself from Muslim vampires by making your neck non-halal.

So my heart goes out to them. Figuratively. I would never actually entrust my heart to scientists—they'd probably implant it in a baboon. And a baboon with my heart would be practically unstoppable. Baboon strength and agility combined with my determination and media savvy? It would be a threat to all of humanity.

I actually do not think that's how what's happening to our government is going to be stopped. I think people who are willing to be civically engaged and believe in the promises and the progress of the last fifty years that will save this country.

Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.

Take away the Big Bang and what has God done? Burned a bush and got a girl pregnant. Great, he's a high school junior.