There is no food closer to my heart than cheese. In fact, according to my doctor, it has nearly filled my aorta.
Stephen ColbertI don't know a lot about politics. I like talking about human behavior. Politicians are funny to me because they often say one thing and behave a different way.
Stephen ColbertChristianity is the best way to cure gayness — just get on your knees, take a swig of wine, and accept the body of a man into your mouth.
Stephen Colbert