Let freedom ka-ching...Corporations do everything people do except breathe, die and go to jail for dumping 1.3 million pounds of PCBs in the Hudson River.

(on fox news).... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.

I have no interest in behaving or thinking cynically. But it's an easy trap to be cynical about anything, certainly when you're talking about politics or the media.

Global warming isn't real because I was cold today! Also great news: world hunger is over because I just ate.

Sorry, but retirement offends me. You don’t just stop fighting in the middle of a war because your legs hurt. So why do you get to stop working in the middle of your life just because your prostate hurts? That’s desertion.

If I had a dime for everytime that I was wrong, I'd be broke.

John Boehner chose a huge gavel. I think somebody's compensating for his small government.