Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and nothing to do on weekdays.

If Obama can force you to get health insurance just by calling it a tax, than there is nothing to stop him from making you gay marry an illegal immigrant wearing a condom on a hydroponic pot farm powered by solar energy.

Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes.

As Shakespeare said, there's nothin' cooler than droppin' the 'g's off of gerunds!

I don't want someone shoving his views down my throat, unless they're covered in a crunchy candy shell.

Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.

NASA scientists have discovered a new form of life, unfortunately, it won't date them either.