Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and nothing to do on weekdays.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Truth. No joke.

Everybody loves dogs. They're the pizza of the animal kingdom.

When my car runs out of gas, I buy a new one. I don't want to ride around with a quitter.

Pain is the body's way of telling the brain it's in trouble. Similarly, confusion is the brain's way of telling the body, 'All right, buddy, drop that book.

If you're a perfectionist and you know you're about to do something at which you cannot be perfect, then that is daunting because you know what your heart is like and the way you approach your work.

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.