If it's called THE USA Today, why is all the news from yesterday?

Made no mistake: America is a Christian nation. The bedrock of our theo-democracy is our Judeo-Christian values. that term, by the way, is a bit of a misnomer. It implies that Christianity and Judaism are equal.

I began my day as I often begin my days, by checking Donald Trump's Twitter feed to see how far the crazy has spread. And today, I really think he's off his meds, because today he went from crazy to cruel.

Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.

One day,I might be able to tell my grandkids I interviewed the last president of the United States.

No matter how you were born, no matter how you identify, I want to be clear that I would be proud to grind you up and eat you.

You seem cynical because you're always talking about that selfish behavior that's dressed up as altruism. It doesn't mean there isn't altruism. It just means that it's harder to make jokes about altruism.