Obamacare takes effect in less than eight months. Do you realize what this means? If you go to the emergency room now, you'll be covered by the time you finally see a doctor.

I'm just very interested in what my guests have to say. You have to be vigilant to stay ignorant.

Baby carrots are making me gay.

Facebook stock continues to plummet. People started selling once they found out their mom bought it too.

Liberals want to burn the flag, but progressives just want to microwave it?

I can really find something interesting about almost anyone I talk to.

Ghost of Bobby: no, no you can't eat me. I'm a ghost. Stephen Colbert: That just means that there's less bones to pick out.