People would say, "Oh, you say you just do jokes." I don't just do jokes. I do jokes. Jokes are important. They saved my life when I was younger. Hopefully we're making things nicer at the end of the day for people. That's the entire goal, and that's the touchstone and the North Star for the tone.
Stephen ColbertEvil exists because of the disobedience of Satan. God gave Satan, and the angels, and man free will. Satan used his free will and abused it by not obeying authority. Hell was created by Satanโs disobedience to God, and his purposeful removal from Godโs loveโwhich is what hell is. Removing yourself from Godโs love. You send yourself to hell. God does not send you there.
Stephen ColbertComedians dissect jokes all the time. Comedians are beautiful structuralists. But ultimately it's an athletic endeavor.
Stephen ColbertChristianity is the best way to cure gayness โ just get on your knees, take a swig of wine, and accept the body of a man into your mouth.
Stephen ColbertTomorrow you're all going to wake up in a brave new world, a world where the Constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones created in a stem-cell research lab run by homosexual doctors who sterilize their instruments over burning American flags. Where tax and spend Democrats take all your hard-earned money and use it to buy electric cars for National Public Radio and teach evolution to illegal immigrants. Oh... and everybody's high!
Stephen Colbert