Can accidentally eating halal food make you Muslim? Yes, the same way drinking a cosmo can make you gay.

There's a wonderfully cooperative relationship between management and labor right now. Much like the historic partnership between oranges and a juicer.

Can't wait for tomorrow when I get to exercise my patriotic duty as an American: Complaining about how long it's taking to VOTE.

There hasn't been a scandal this big at the C.I.A. since (CLASSIFIED) committed (CENSORED) to (REDACTED).

The lead singer of Creed says he won’t endorse President Obama. Well that settles it -- Obama will not win the 1998 presidential election.

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently have 0.0 million dollars.

Never throw caution to the wind. It could whip back into your eyes and blind you.