Remember, Jesus would rather constantly shame gays than let orphans have a family.

You gotta learn to love when you're failing.... The embracing of that, the discomfort of failing in front of an audience, leads you to penetrate through the fear that blinds you. Fear is the mind killer.

Football is American; why are the Romans numering our bowls?!

I welcome opposing viewpoints, but I should warn you that you'll be facing off against the 2nd-place finisher at the 1981 Charleston County High-School Debate Tournament. And whatever became of that county champ who argued in favor of tractor safety modifications? Last time I checked, she didn't have her own show.

I'm a junkie for exhaustion, and I'm a junkie for setting up my expectations too high and then trying to meet them.

It's a game. That's why we call it 'the news.' It's just a game.

It's much better to invite the audience to be part of your show rather than saying, "I command you to do this." The other thing is, you have to follow through. If you initiate a game and they take part, you can't stop until it reaches a mutually satisfying resolution.