Remember, Jesus would rather constantly shame gays than let orphans have a family.

I'm a huge news junkie. I love what the news does.

I gut check my show. I say, I say, "Gut, gut, does that feel true to you?" And Gut says, "Yes it does, Stephen. Let's get a grilled cheese sandwich."

I've said it a million times: Romance languages lead to premarital sex.

If we raise taxes on corporations, what incentive will they have to make money other than the fact that it's the sole reason they exist.

Hey, single malt scotch, youre thirty years old. When are you going to settle down and get married to my stomach?

Why would we go to war on women? They don't have any oil.