I love making observations. That one is a classic example.

My guest Newt Gingrich shut down the government during the Clinton administration. I'll ask him when it's gonna start working again.

Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor.

I don't want someone shoving his views down my throat, unless they're covered in a crunchy candy shell.

The lead singer of Creed says he won’t endorse President Obama. Well that settles it -- Obama will not win the 1998 presidential election.

Global warming isn't real because I was cold today! Also great news: world hunger is over because I just ate.

I'm more American than apple pie. I'm like apple pie, with a hot dog in it.