I love making observations. That one is a classic example.

As a rule, Germans shouldn't do comedy. Their last box office comedy was Nosferatu.

And though I am a committed Christian, I believe everyone has the right to their own religion - be you Hindu, Jewish, or Muslim, I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.

We all deserve credit for this new surveillance state that we live in because we the people voted for the Patriot Act. Democrats and Republicans alike....We voted for the people who voted for it, and then voted for the people who reauthorized it, then voted for the people who re-re-authorize d it.

I'm a huge news junkie. I love what the news does.

I am down with the latest trends. And everyone knows, the thing on the streets is vampires. So I have been biting people on the neck.

There's nothing more I love than McDonald's dollar menu. With just the change I find between my couch cushions, I can eat something with the nutritional value of a couch cushion.