It is a well known fact that reality has liberal bias.

Apply Truth liberally to the inflamed area.

The skinnification of America's jeanscape has gone too far.

I believe that people, more often than not, act with the best possible intentions. And when they don't, that's funny to me. That's why comedy ends up seeming cynical, because you're talking about the gap between what people say and what they do.

New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman.

I may be just an empty flesh terminal reliant on technology for all my ideas, memories and relationships, but I am confident that all of that everything that makes me a unique human being is still out there somewhere, safe in a theoretical storage space owned by giant, multinational corporations.

I used to play a narcissistic-conservative pundit. Now, I'm just a narcissist.