Am I proud of being straight? No. You know why? Because if I start acting proud, that's going to make me seem kind of gay.
Stephen ColbertThere is no food closer to my heart than cheese. In fact, according to my doctor, it has nearly filled my aorta.
Stephen ColbertNow, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'.
Stephen ColbertOther people's deconstruction of your motivations doesn't help you do what you do. You can't swallow and think about swallowing at the same time.
Stephen ColbertI'm proud of my ability to understand what somebody else is trying to do and help them achieve it, because part of the aesthetic of improvisation is service. We don't lead, we only follow. You never say no. Serve the servant, follow the follower. And that's very valuable in your life, as well as very valuable in your work.
Stephen Colbert