Who would have thought that a means of communication limited to 140 characters would ever create misunderstanding?

Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway.

If I ever succumbed to the demon on my shoulder going, "You should get something special because you're famous," that is the moment that my behavior will be caught on social media for all time. I'm even afraid to use it to get a reservation. This is the person who will tweet, "Can you believe what this a-hole did?"

Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash. (Said to President Bush at the White House Correspondents Dinner)

If Corporations are people, I guarantee you that a government of those people, by those people, and for those people will continue to exist.

Now I don't know why he's denying them habeas corpus. I can only assume the guys they got detained over there did something really unforgivable. Like remind Obama he was once a professor of Constitutional Law.

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.