Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway.

I can't be gay! I'm a happily married conservative, just like Ted Haggard and Larry Craig.

The only thing that gets me high is the musky scent of my enemy's fear

What the right-wing in the United States tries to do is undermine the press.

I believe all God's creatures have a soul... except bears, bears are Godless killing machines!

The shamrock is a religious symbol. St. Patrick said the leaves represented the trinity: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. That's why four leaf clovers are so lucky, you get a bonus Jesus.

Take away the Big Bang and what has God done? Burned a bush and got a girl pregnant. Great, he's a high school junior.