Marijuana is a gateway drug that can lead to awful things, like Phish getting back together.

I deliver my Truth hot and hard.

Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!

Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset.

A press that has validity is a press that has authority. And as soon as there's any authority to what the press says, you question the authority of the government - it's like the existence of another authority.

There's a buzz to failing and not dying.

Arbitrary rules teach kids discipline: If every rule made sense, they wouldn't be learning respect for authority, they'd be learning logic.