Marijuana is a gateway drug that can lead to awful things, like Phish getting back together.

I won't be doing the new show in character, so we'll all get to find out how much of him was me. I'm looking forward to it.

The liberal Gluten-free agenda is turning our dogs lesbian.

Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.

We all deserve credit for this new surveillance state that we live in because we the people voted for the Patriot Act. Democrats and Republicans alike....We voted for the people who voted for it, and then voted for the people who reauthorized it, then voted for the people who re-re-authorize d it.

Ignorance is bliss. Oedipus ruined a great sex life by asking too many questions.

Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway.