The only thing that keeps us going back to one another is that we're all filled with such enormous self-doubt. We have doubts about our ability to be alone, to self-actualize.

Can accidentally eating halal food make you Muslim? Yes, the same way drinking a cosmo can make you gay.

I can't be gay! I'm a happily married conservative, just like Ted Haggard and Larry Craig.

But you are also the biggest threat of all ...You are a gay person I like. Your threat is that you make being gay seem non-threatening. It's almost as if your happiness does not take mine away.

So my heart goes out to them. Figuratively. I would never actually entrust my heart to scientists—they'd probably implant it in a baboon. And a baboon with my heart would be practically unstoppable. Baboon strength and agility combined with my determination and media savvy? It would be a threat to all of humanity.

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow.