The only thing that keeps us going back to one another is that we're all filled with such enormous self-doubt. We have doubts about our ability to be alone, to self-actualize.

My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned but an idiot. So we said, `Let's give him a promotion.'

I thought Black Friday was when everyone puts on blackface and steals children from Wal-Mart.

Why would we go to war on women? They don't have any oil.

I am down with the latest trends. And everyone knows, the thing on the streets is vampires. So I have been biting people on the neck.

Hey yogurt, if you're so cultured, how come I never see you at the opera?

I have always been a fan of reality by majority vote.