Can accidentally eating halal food make you Muslim? Yes, the same way drinking a cosmo can make you gay.
Stephen ColbertI can't be gay! I'm a happily married conservative, just like Ted Haggard and Larry Craig.
Stephen ColbertBut you are also the biggest threat of all ...You are a gay person I like. Your threat is that you make being gay seem non-threatening. It's almost as if your happiness does not take mine away.
Stephen ColbertSo my heart goes out to them. Figuratively. I would never actually entrust my heart to scientistsโthey'd probably implant it in a baboon. And a baboon with my heart would be practically unstoppable. Baboon strength and agility combined with my determination and media savvy? It would be a threat to all of humanity.
Stephen Colbert