They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am.
Stephen ColbertDonald Trump, yes, he's somebody's little boy. But he is his ideas because his ideas are what's going to affect us. As a man, he can do very little. But his ideas could kill us all.
Stephen ColbertCynicism is an enormous problem. I'm actually a hopeful person. But the way to stay hopeful is to acknowledge and to not accept what is absolutely amoral, mentally ill behavior as normal.
Stephen ColbertSo my heart goes out to them. Figuratively. I would never actually entrust my heart to scientistsโthey'd probably implant it in a baboon. And a baboon with my heart would be practically unstoppable. Baboon strength and agility combined with my determination and media savvy? It would be a threat to all of humanity.
Stephen Colbert