Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything. It's certainty.

If you think you can lead your flock of sheeple and peeps to some glorified noodle fest on the mall, you got another thing coming, mister.

When my car runs out of gas, I buy a new one. I don't want to ride around with a quitter.

I didn't realize quite how liberal I was until I was asked to make passionate comedic choices as opposed to necessarily successful comedic choices.

So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.

The summer movies are coming out. My advice: just stay home and burn a good book.

It's official. Highway patrolmen are not susceptible to the Jedi Mind Trick.