If the eyes are the window to the soul, then why does it hurt when I spray them with Windex?
Stephen ColbertThe fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonald's.
Stephen ColbertWe are divided between those who think with their heads and those who know with their heart. Consider Harriet Miers. If you think about Harriet Miers, of course her nomination is absurd. But the President didn't say he thought about his selection. He said this: "I know her heart." Notice how he said nothing about her brain? He didn't have to. He feels the truth about Harriet Miers.
Stephen Colbert